Wrestling for God's Blessing

So, last night I began to sort through all of my journals that go back to my freshman year of high school through 2007.  Actually, now I’m wondering where are my other journals, from 2007 till 2013?  Really, the focus of the project was to sort and label the journals according to the dates I wrote in them.  Some journals only had a few entries, while others were completely filled.  Some journals didn’t have lines and I wrote in more creative patterns.  All of them fluctuated between journal entries and prayers to God. 

Anyhow, the very first journal I found, I skimmed through.  This one was not very used.  I guess that journal writing was not a priority of mine then, but I wish I had written more to look back on.  Still, I had a few entries, one about the incident where I cut my finger with a electric hedgeclipper.  One about my excitement about going to camp.  But, I had one memory from camp that really caught my eye and my mind.

When I was alone, I saw this puddle where drops were coming down. And I thought about my life, how I was a small puddle and the water already there was my relationship with Jesus, and how he kept adding a little more knowledge and depth in our relationship one day at a time, because I couldn’t handle it all at once. 

I think it is still a good metaphor for my relationship with God.  It kindof reminds me of the story in Genesis when Jacob wrestles a man all night long who he recognizes as God.  If God was really wrestling with a man, you know he was holding back.  His holiness alone would smite out the life of a sinner.  His strength, yeah, He would be way stronger than a person.  But He holds back in this wrestling match, and even as he touches Jacob’s hip and knocks it out of socket, He allows Jacob to hold on until he receives His blessing. 

I listened to J.D. Greear preach about this about a month ago.  He was leading his church in developing the kind of prayer life he would love to see with member’s lives being totally changed.  It was a really great sermon, Wrestling All Night, and I’d encourage anyone to listen to it.  http://www.summitrdu.com/messages/

In my metaphor, I play a more passive role, with God alone revealing Himself.  However, Jacob is not willing to settle for a mere drop of God’s presence, He wrestles all night for God’s blessing.  J.D. asked, how many blessings does God have in store for us because we do not ask, we do not press through?

I tend to get discouraged easily about life’s circumstances, and then I lose heart when it comes to praying about them.  And, then God convicts me of my little faith. 

I don’t know about you, but I am more hungry and more desperate to experience God’s presence and blessing in my life so that people cannot help but see the Gospel guiding my being.  I don’t want to be stuck with discouragement and depression and despair.  I want a faith that is so deep that it brings me joy in even the worst circumstances life brings. 

I’ll leave you with a note from Lecrae. This song really hits home.

Now Your presence is my treasure, never ending peace.
And they can't keep me from Your love cause it'll never cease. (Naw!)
So I pray You keep me, cause I can't keep myself (No!)
Protect me from my sin. I know I'm bad for my health.
And I'm dieing to know You. Wake me up and let me read.
Treat Your words so if they cut me this is what I bleed.
Give me a double feature.
Give me a triple portion.
I'm coming back for seconds, thirds, fourth, more, more, more!

Your goodness. Your mercy. (More!)
I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. (More!)
Your love and Your grace. (More!)
I just need a taste. (More!)
Your peace and Your passion. (More!)
Your joy and compassion. (More!)
You got it I need it. (More!)
I just gotta have it. (More!)

Yeah I need more. (More!)
Yeah I need more. (More!)
Yeah I need more. (More!)
Lord give me more (More!)
Yeah I need more. (More!)
Yeah I need more. (More!)
Yeah I need more. (More!)
Lord give me more.

If I don't know it. Teach me please though I'm undeserving.
Don't let me loose sight of my Savior, cause my Savior's worthy. (Jesus!)
Apart from Him I'm zip, zero, ziltch, nada, nothing.
No point in acting like I'm somebody to prove somethin'.
Open my understanding when I read the Scriptures.
It's still Your word inside a darkened wretched lowly sinner.
Make me acquainted with Your covenants and perfect plans.
Humble me by showing me the world's in Your hands.
Lead me in the truth. (Truth!)
Wisdom. Revelation.
Apply Your blood to my dirty soul for salvation.
And help me believe.
Lord, Lead me to faith.
Just teach me Your ways.
I'm in need of Your grace.
Purify my heart.
Fill me with Your Spirit.
Occupy me with Your presence.
Keep Your servant near.
Give me faith to behold.
Write Your name on my soul.
Make me whole for Your glory
and Your name to be known. (More, More, More)

More, Rehab :The Overdose 2011

Reachrecords.com

Keep wrestling for God’s Blessing.