Forgetfulness

So... I have a confession to make. I have a really hard time with losing things. Well, what I mean to say is, I have a habit of losing things recently, like my purse, my cell phone, my keys, my wallet, my sunglasses... pretty much anything you can think of, I've misplaced or forgotten multiple times in the past 7 months. I've locked my keys in my car 4 times, 3 of those times within 2 months... I am so thankful for AAA because I've gotten my usage out of them! I'm especially irked with myself tonight, as I left my cell phone in my mom's van that's in High Point being worked on... how could I have done that! If losing things is an art, I have mastered it.

There are some things I try really hard to remember but forget anyway. Like, my friend's birthdays... usually I remember what month they are in, but I forget the exact day... at least now I can cheat on Facebook and look up their birthdays online.

Sometimes I can remember the most random things about a person, like who enjoys the Dove chocolate promises, and who thinks they are ridiculous. Or, why a friend hates the song about the Christmas Shoes...

And then, some things I do remember about my friends, that probably most of their friends know about them, because it's just part of who they are. I know which of my friends enjoy the arts, which of my friends enjoy sports, which of my friends like pottery, which of my friends like reading, which of my friends enjoys playing ROOK...

The thing I seem most prone to forget though, and the thing I desperately need to remember and take to heart moment by moment, is the Gospel. That is, that though I am a wretched sinner that is unworthy of God's love, that He sent His Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, and then die a sinner's death, taking the sin of the world and the full wrath of God onto his being on the cross, and then three days later, He rose from the grave. And now Jesus sits at the righthand of God, and because He became the curse for me, through faith in His Provision and sacrifice, I can have eternal life. But not only do I have eternal life, when God looks upon me, He sees Jesus' righteousness, and His holiness, and His perfection, and it's not because of me or anything I have done or ever could do! It has NOTHING to do with me! And that's what I tend to forget.

Now, it's not like I forget the Gospel conceptually, I have just shared the Gospel with you. I know the Gospel. I understand the Gospel. I desperately need the Gospel. It indeed is my only hope.

It's more... well, sometimes I just don't live with the confidence the Gospel should impart... sometimes I live in guilt and only see my sinful depraved state before a Holy God who's wrath on sin is just and right and good. Sometimes I forget my sinful state and act like I could earn my own salvation by being good enough. Sometimes I forget to value the Gospel for the priceless treasure that it is, and I instead worship other idols that might be good things, but they are not meant to fulfill me the way that worshiping Christ should fulfill me. And these lessons are sometimes cyclicar, I grasp the Gospel one day, one moment, and elevate another idol the next. How can I forget this!??!!!

As I mentioned earlier in this blog, my beleif in the Gospel, the hope of my Salvation, has nothing to do with me. And that is a really great thing. I could never be good enough to deserve God's love. I could never earn enough gold stars to get into heaven. I cannot even come close to living a perfect life. I need to remember this truth, because salvation comes by faith alone, not in our good works. I need to be aware of my depravity and sinful state, to understand the complete mess I am in, to recognize my need for a Savior.

But in my times of forgetfulness... in the times when my heart looks to idols instead of Christ for fulfillment, in the times my heart is proud and forgets how depraved and sinful I really am... in those times which I forget, God's salvation in my life, and my election, still stands. In fact, the crazy thing, or one of the craziest things about salvation to me is, that God saves us knowing that we will forget! Knowing that we will continue to struggle with erecting different idols in our life, knowing that we will seek our joy in lesser things, knowing that we will still screw up royally... He knows that we are prone to forget... but He will never let us completely forget. He will remind us through His Word, and through His Body, (the local Gospel-centered church), through taking communion, through His Creation... He won't let us forget, because He is true to His promise of Salvation, and He is the source of our Faith.